I Don't Want To Cry
by Foxes-Rock
Summary: A One Shot Hiru is bullied and only has one person to look to, But when he realizes that he always bothers her with his problems? He decides to Push her away and be stronger. But when He becomes strong? Was it worth it? Tomoe's Son. HiruXMoira


_**Hey Guys! I decided to write a One Shot since its been a long time since I have written anything!**_ _**( Sorry Guys, Lots of blocks and Lack of time.. T-T ) SOO! I am Giving You a little look into Twisting friendship Book two ( Coming Soon ) Called,**_

 _ **' Twisting Love'**_

 _ **Its about Tomoe's Oldest Son Hiru, And Silver's Youngest Daughter Moira; Get Ready to Ship People! They are so cute together! SO CUTE! XD**_

* * *

 ** _I Don't Want To Cry..._**

* * *

I remember a certain comment and event when I was younger. I don't know why I recall it.. I don't know why I remember that time in my life. A time where I was so small in the large world around me.

Maybe when they subjected me to this pain.. Maybe thats why I rebelled so much. They say the bullied becomes the bully, and I became that to her. I never intended to go so far when I hurt her, and to be honest it was probably to take away my own pain in the vast world we call home.

We act like we're perfect, we act like we don't do anything wrong, and we act as though we have the world at our finger tips. We act as though people would care if we died, when they'd just move on or pretend you weren't there.

Maybe thats why I wanted to die so much. If I died, I wouldn't of been there to hurt so many people, I would of never hurt her, and the best part of it all? My family would of neer hated me as I do now.

When they say my name... Its a snarl. When they mention me or try to say they care, its etched on their faces that they hate me. I know I see it, because even my cloest brother has stopped checking in on me.

I'm alone like I was before she came to me, I wish I had never been foolish... My stomach hurt, my head is just fool of foolishness. And I suppose, I've always been like this.. Why she ever liked Me, I don't know.

I just wanted to be okay for once, I wanted my family to be great. I wanted it to stop... I didn'tknow what to do. Maybe thats why I was so foolish. I had refused to cry and never did when I was younger. Not even when I was alone.

It wasn't me.. and I refused to do it. Crying would open my heart. It would open the gate to my feelings, and then I'd get hurt even more, and then I'd cry and not stop. I knew from the start that My younger brother hated that I never showed emotion.

But if I did I'd show so much that people would get sick of me.

I was just that black haired child on the streets, acting all to myself and being called dark and lonely.. and scarce. I didn't blame them, but I did scream at them from inside my heart. From inside my chest and my mind, But I never spoke those things..

I just took it out on her, Which was so wrong, so unnesscary. So Disgusting, and now I want to give up on everything, and to be honest if I did.. They would no longer have to say my name with digust, Because they would not have to say it. And then they wouldn't have to force themselves to look at me..

I wouldn't be there... And I think that would of please them all alot, I thought I had my family but the more I learned the more I satrted to hurt. The more I started to hurt, the more I started to find ways to take the pain away.

So much pain was bottled up in me, and at school it was just the same as always. So I reember this even in my mind. It had her in it.. It had him in it.. And My uncle and my father. It had them in it as well, but this event wasn't a happy one.

It was the day I had died mostly in my heart, the day I stopped caring.. and started to act like a fool. I wasn't a fool, but I coudl sure act like one. My seriousness was something People hated, And when I stopped caring was the day I started to hurt her...

It was the day I died the most of all..

* * *

" Hey look its that dark kid!"

" Why doesn't he talk much!?"

" Who knows. I think Hes creepy.'

Hiru bit his lip slightly and sighed out as he walked slowly in the rain that led to the main school house. He wasn't creepy, he wasn't a fool.. He was just shy, and if someone talked to him he'd probably fluster and act foolish.

He was very shy and for reason he had become creepy all of a sudden. He didn't get why he had become to creepy to his shock.. Maybe his shyness looked that way? His dad always asked him if he wanted to be homeschooled,

But Hiru laughed at homeschool and shook his head. He had always wanted to meet new people, but through the years he got shyier and shyier.

This was why..

'Hiru walked and froze up as a ball hit the back on his head and made him fall over int he mud. It made the pre teen wince and hold his head in pain whiel the kids behind him snickered and laughed harsly.

"Gothic freak! Go home to your momma!" One boy cooed harshly as Hiru held his head and swallowed weakly.

" YEAH! Or why not have that little girl take up for you again!? Your so weak that you have to have a girl take up for you!" One girl giggled as Hiru bit his lip and swallowed.

He looked at them with mud streaked hair and bit his lip, " B-But.. M-Moira is a a great per-

" DON'T GIVE US THAT! Your so weak a little girl takes up for you! Its funny, One day she'll have it over your head you weak whimp!" One howled in laughtere while Hiru paused and swallowed.

That wasn't true...

Moira was his friend, there was nothing wrong with that. He didn't see it.. did he really depend on her like that? Was she always saving him in times like this? He didn't want to be weak to her, he wanted to be the one that she came too..

But she wasn't going to allow that.  
The black haired boy looked down and bit his lip as the other kids laughed out and snorted at him.  
" Your such a whimp! Oh look! Your nose is bleeding and you got hit my the ball in the back of the head!" A boy laughed out, " I guess your mommy didn't give you your meds today huh?" he fake pouted as Hiru swallowed and rubbed the blood away.'

They continued to laugh at them as Hiru stayed silent, his hair shading his eyes as he looked down and just stayed there in the puddle that he had been knocked down in . He didn't want to say anything as they laughed and poked at him..

He didn't cry, like he had though a long time ago. He never would cry.. not at all. So here he was, Taking it. Taking it and then watching them go as soon as they finsihed kicking the mud into his now blackish whiteish hair.

He continued to sit there though, not bothering to get up until he paused and saw small shoes in front of him. He bit his lip and looked up to see a girl with wide silver eyes and black hair holding an umbrella and staring at him.

" Your stupid. why are you sitting in the mud?" She arched her brow as her bell like voice rang out.

Moira...

Hiru bit his lip and then shrugged weakly, " I guess I tripped.' he muttered but refused to smile as she shook her head. She then kicked his shin making him whine in pain.

" Your stupid. Don't you know by now I can read your mind you blooming fool." She huffed and then grabbed his hand, helping him to his feet. He didn't see how it was possible though.. he was taller then her by a long shot.

" Im fine " he muttered slightly as Moira propped her little hands on her hips. She glared and hissed darkly making him look at her blankly

" Your not okay idiot." She muttered as he shook his head. He would of opened his mouth to tease her for the look on her pouty face, he would of teased her and called it cut elike any other boy would of done. Maybe she wanted him to be like everyone else..

But he couldn't..

" Whatever.' he choked out and turned his back on her. She wouldn't let him be strong, she was always there for him, and sometimes he wished he could be there for her. But he was too shy to do so. He tried but he failed each time.. and Moira woudl always just give hima blank look and always said.

" What were you trying to prove?"

Nothing.. He wanted to scream at her each time. Nothing he wasn't trying to prove anything to her! He just wanted to help her like she helped him.. But all this help, all this sadness. It just made him a whimp compared to him.

Weren't boys more mean to girls at this point in life? Werent they suppsoed to push them away and scream at them to leave them alone? Why was he being different in this manner? All he wanted to do was help her.. but he couldn't.

He was horriable at things like that, but she was not... And he didn't know what it was. Maybe it was envy. Maybe he was jealous that she coudl make friends, or because she was popular. Because she was younger and could take up for him when he was an older boy.. who could barely talk to take up for himself.

He felt like a little fool! He looked at her before she huffed.

" Don't act like that Hiru! " She muttered before he turned his back on her. This made her blink and then pause.. Wait.. what was he doing?  
" H-Hiur?" She twitched before he turned his head and glared.

" Leave me alone." he seethed before he stomped off. Of course she was shocked as she stared.. why did he just Ignore her like that? She blinked in pain and shock while he ran into the school soaking wet.. Tears in his eyes.

" I'ms sorry Moira.." he whispered and bit his lip as he ran forward. he was not going to be a whimp anymore! He wanted to be strong for her.. so.. If he had to ignore her. if he had to be mean. So be it..

The bullied became the bully..

* * *

People laughed at him and snickered behind his back while Hiru walked in and bit his lip. He looked down at his black uniform and whined. He was covered in mud.. so much mud.

He whined and looked down as he stared at his outfit. He did look aweful... Maybe Moira could. He paused and looked down weakly.. Nope. he couldn't. He had to be stronger then that. If he didn't.. he.. He'd always be stuck as the whimp. He swallowed and bit his lip..

He sighed out and sat his wet bag down while sighing out weakly. He bit his lip and looked out at the chalk baord before sighing out and getting a pencil thrown at him.

" Gothic creep.." A boy hissed making the boy pause and swallow.. He had other thinsg thrown at him as the kids laughed. As long as they could do this before the teacher entered the room. And then one threw a safty pin...

Hiru looked down and paused when he saw it, he looked around slightly but did not make it clear as he grabbed the pin and looked at it. He slipped in his pocket and walked out to go to the bathroom, thank goodness it was that time where people were rushing to class because of the bell..

Hiru walked in and paused when he saw the mirror, he looked at it and titled his head gently as he did so.

" Hi..' he whispered and looked at himself. He then ground his teeth and bit hit lip, he didn't want to cry anymore! He wasn't going to cry! Even if his face seemed to turn redish. He whined and remembered Moirah trying to cheer him up. No..

He was not a creep! He didn't want to be called that, but when he tried to tell his daddy? And His mom? He couldn't! They seemed so happy, their marriage.. it had some bumps and al, but they were so happy. He didn't want them to see his problems. To be a half human child..

He even got picked on for that little fact!

He shook it off and nearly choked as he swallowed and let his face regain its color. He stared down into the sink and whimpered. Pain in his chest as he opened the saftey pen. He gave his reflection a harsh look in hate..

" I hate you.." he muttered, " I'm not going to cry! I'm going to be strong like my dad." he nodded and looked down, his eyes sad. He had been mad at Moira, and yet he wasn't mad at her. He thought she was great...

But he just ignored her and she was not going to talk to him after that, Moira was to hard to make up with... Or at least for him. Hiru swallowed and looked down, his heart weak as he sniffed and swallowed.

He would not cry.. not ever again.

So he looked up at the mirror and glared, he held the saftey pin shakingly to his ear and whined,

" I'll show you gothic!' he choked and swallowed as he got the pin and pushed it through his ear. He yelped and cried out weakly as blood dripped off his fingers.. but when he looked at the mirror his eyes seemed dead as he left the pin in and glared.

He looked at the piercing and paused, he would do this some more later on.. He'd keep doing it and see when people noticed... if they did. He'd pierce his lip.. his stomach. His ears. He reached up and stroked his fox ears before swallowing.

" I'll be stronger." he nodded, ' Because no one likes someone that cries and is weak' he shook his head and looked down..

" I won't be weak. I'm sorry Moira.. But.. This is goodbye." he whispered and bit his lip.

' Goodbye for now? Okay?" He whispered and pictured a smiling boy and girl hug and laugh together.. but then the boy left and the Girl just stood there.. far away and staring in horror..

 _'Goodbye.'_

* * *

So.. As this memory came back to me.. I only realize that my family probably saw me the same way. Maybe thats why I not only have a hole in my heart, but I have some in me too.

My family and their disgust filled faces..

I deserve it, and sometimes.. I just want to run from it all.

I just want to love them... I have always loved my family..

But I guess its just one sided...

I guess I'm not loved like I had hoped, I have to live up to it all. My younger brother seems to hate me and Moira...

After all this time.

She hardly talks to me anymore.. I guess I should of known she and I imprinted on the day she was born. Yes I was much older, but.. I never Knew I'd like her too. But I have so far to go.

Why did I not know that one saying? That one saying thats beauitful to my ears and yet sad at the same time? Is crying okay? What will they say if they see the strongest person they know cry?

I should of heard this..

" _People do not cry because they're weak, they cry because they have been strong to long.'_

So I say this Moira.. If you'll hear me at all.

' Let me be strong a little longer, and when you look at me again.. When I can look at you like I used to, Let me let go and cry again. Let me be myself again.. I dont' want to be strong, if being Strong means I cannot have you.

If I can't have you when I'm strong?

' _I'd rather be the weakest man in the world.'_


End file.
